i would not be writing here anymore. add my new account.

carmelbars.livejournal.com

goodbye love. maybe next time.

puro stupidity, cheapness and non-sense was my state of my mind for the past 6 months. reminiscing it might kill me. for real. well im glad its over now. im feeling happily blank nowadays and i am satisfied. period.

to my dear little blog,
im sorry to have bothered you with my stupid little thoughts. im sorry i havent written anything that may make you proud. your little banana just got a little consumed in the quicksand of emotionsss and leaves. good thing she got hold of the branch. she might be hanging out there for a while. its boring but she likes it. it might be better that way, for now.

love your little banana-rama

on a different note:
i was watching asap last sunday just to satisfy my need for local felipino entertainment and i happened to come across the rudy fernandez tribute segement wherein like the star singers would all sing songs for rudy by singing it to her wife lorna tolentino. it felt weird cos its like they're forcing her to cry while she was doing her best to control her tears but eventually did not work, since gary v was like singing with his heart out (and let us not forget about the fact that the pain of the death of her husband was still fresh, duh!)

how is it that Filipinos are always looking for someone to pity. why force someone to cry, when she's trying her best not to. i felt sorry for her cos she was placed in a situation wherein she was forced to cry. everyone was singing really sad songs and all eyes where on her and people were all like, "when's lorna gonna cry?"

it sucks to let people see your suffering. it sucks to be the oppressed and the lonely.

me, im just satisfied being the happily blank self that i am now, at least for now.

to the only one who made an effort to give me the things that i really love,
to you who made sure that i am always taken care of by you when i'm with you,
to the only one who made my knees weak these past couple of months
the the one, who almost never let me down (without a very good excuse)
to you and only you...

thank you.

and here is to you, and whichever path you decide to take.

yes folks, i'm the biggest fan of hopeless romanticism. don't tell me your not. :]

what i have for him is not as much as what he has for me. he valued what we had but not as much as i did. he could have saved it. but then he chose not to. i do not really know why. im not having hard feelings or anything. but now, im choosing to give it up. thus, the story of the raisin bread is over.

sayang lang diba? kasi raisin bread na, naging bato pa, diba?

WTFHAYC. IMYSM

dude pare chong tol.ok lang.

im sorry that i missed you
ohwell,carmel

now i know. no further explanations needed. clear as the morning sky.

was i surprised?

no.

i knew that he had someone. i was just too blinded by him, i can't accept it.

am i hurt?

yes.

take me to the clinic plzzzz. mefanamic plzzz. double dose plzzz.


just when you thought that you already know someone, time makes you learn about him a little more which make me love him a little more. but that same time that made you know him better is the same time that will take him away from you. that and the fact that 2 years of love is nothing compared to mine.


rahel was scared that ammu loved her a little less. carmel is scared that she loves him a little more.

goodbye my pinkhighlighter boy. goodbye pizza pedicab.
as much as i want to stay, as much as i want you to stay... i can't be mini martyr again.

plzzzzz mefanamic plzzzzzz.

dear you,

the love and hate relationship, was there really love?

and how about kinda single? why the f are you kinda single? is this your way of pissing me off? but why would you do that when you don't even know.

you have this thing of making me feel special and this thing of humiliating me big time. I'm not your little sister.
stop stepping at my feet and throwing your trash in my pocket. i hate it.

i don't want to be your next mamazee.

love,
me

dear god,

if you is not for me, let me find another one soon. i don't want to fall too hard.

love,
me

you make me all mushy and you make me want to cry
the more i expect the more i get hurt

there was no effort. no effort at all. i've been waiting for this forever. from the time we last met and after what happened, after what i found out... it's over. heck. i wish it was.

you are insensitive and mean
you never cared about anything
yet i want you.
i want you more and more everyday.

my little snowflake
so cold
all i wanted for christmas is you.
but i guess i cant have my christmas present after all.

I'm sorry that I missed you
Ohwell, Carmel

Demmit!

You are so gonna drive me crazy!
 
I feel like laughing, crying, jumping, shouting....GOD!
 
I just can't help it.

My knees shaking.

My heart beating faster.

this has got to stop. because it really wont work.

I'm sorry that I missed you
Ohwell Carmel

Random title. Random thoughts


I prepared long and hard, for you..yes for you. How could you have missed it??? I hate you today. I really do. I had to wake up extra early to iron my hair and look good for you. You are sooooooooooo aghhh!

Please get out of my life! You piss me off, really! The nerve of you to still talk to me after all that you've done! You are the most hateful person alive. Can't you feel that I'm trying to be distant? god, I want to freakin' delete you from my buddy list. I feel so awkward and angry when you talk to me or come near me, so please STAY AWAY FOREVER!

You confuse me. Before I thought I already knew, but now it's all messed up. I'm not sure. It's just too odd. We're like different. I dunno if that's a good thing. I'm really not sure...I'm sad.


I'm sorry that i missed you
Oh well, Carmel